


une immense espérance a traversé (la terre/ma peur)

by ladypeaceful



Series: each time the universe splits, i'll find you in the stars again [10]
Category: WTFock | Skam (Belgium)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Coming Out, Confessions, Fix-It, Lovers to Friends, Other, Talking, and noor is a good candidate for that, i just want one (1) good emma in the skamverse, the breakup is implied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2021-01-28 21:35:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21399010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladypeaceful/pseuds/ladypeaceful
Summary: “noor, i have to tell you something. and you’re not going to like it.”“what is it, robbe?” she reaches out to put a hand on his wrist, tenderly enough that he doesn’t rip away from her touch.bit by bit, he lets her in the rest of the way.
Relationships: Noor Bauwens/Britt Ingelbrecht, Sander Driesen/Robbe IJzermans
Series: each time the universe splits, i'll find you in the stars again [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1431961
Comments: 2
Kudos: 100





	une immense espérance a traversé (la terre/ma peur)

**Author's Note:**

> named for the alfred de musset quote that’s at the end of alt-j’s hunger of the pine, i know, i’m sorry, wtfock just Awakened™ something in me by using taro in that milan clip yesterday lmao
> 
> okay so i wanted to finish this before the actual clip dropped but i only managed to get through the first half lmao uhhh i guess i don't hate how things turned out for noor re: being broken up with in public (like i specifically really wanted them to have a heart-to-heart in robbe's room so that's what i wrote) + i wasn't expecting robbe to come out to her but ya know this is why we write fic so. yeah this is What Should Have Happened: Maandag 19:36 jahjksgj enjoy

his heart is in his throat when he answers the door.

“hi,” noor says softly. she sounds as unsure as looks.

half of him has the instinct to greet her with a kiss, but he knows that he can’t do this anymore, he can’t go through with what he wants to tell her if he keeps pretending for one more second like everything is… normal.

_robbe, you _are _normal._

milan’s words come back to him like a wave crashing on the shore. and he breathes in deep, like he can taste the salt on the wind. lets it settle his nerves.

he sits noor on his bed and folds his hands in his lap and opens his mouth.

and nothing comes out.

he closes his mouth and opens it again and tries once more.

“noor, i-”

she’s looking at him so intently he can’t focus. every part of him screams, _why can’t you just like a pretty girl like you’re supposed to, why can’t you just sleep with her, why can’t you turn this off, why, why, why are you a coward, why do you run away, why do you never stop running._

he wants to stop running. he wants to rest.

“noor, i have to tell you something. and you’re not going to like it.”

“what is it, robbe?” she reaches out to put a hand on his wrist, tenderly enough that he doesn’t rip away from her touch.

bit by bit, he lets her in the rest of the way.

he tells her about sander’s laugh, about milan’s guidance, about blowing up at his friends, about trying so hard to tell jens about everything. he tells her about his parents. he tells her about yasmina and zoë and amber and how it’s all built up to be so much, and how he wishes he could have said something sooner, no, that he _would_ have said something sooner if not for the fear that overpowered him every time he felt it clawing its way out of his chest.

he tells her about the night in the pool, about vulnerability and trust and ecstasy and letting go. about crashing back down to reality.

he tells her about milan’s patience. about his father’s lack thereof. he tells her about zoë’s dwindling trust in senne and his mother’s dwindling mind, and how much he misses her and not his father.

he tells her that he wasn’t lying, not for a second, when he said that she was amazing, because she _is, _it’s just that he literally hasn’t stopped thinking about the way sander’s eyes flickered up and down his figure, how it made him feel hot all over. how they kissed like it was the end of the world and they were standing on the precipice between this universe and the next.

he tells her that he’s sorry. that she has every right to be mad at him, that she doesn’t ever need to speak another word to him if that’s what she decides, that he doesn’t deserve her forgiveness.

and when he finally subsides into silence after what seems like hours, he realizes for the first time that his face is wet, salt on his tongue from his tears running into his mouth.

a tiny taste of the air by the sea.

he’s finally free.

×××

he watches noor’s fingernails, delicate and perfect, dig little crescent shapes into the skin of her forearms. and then she launches herself off his bed and he thinks she’s about to (rightfully) storm out of his room.

she stops at the door and turns to look back at him. “where’s your bathroom?”

he blinks.

“uh, there’s one down the hall that’s shared—”

she’s gone before he’s finished his sentence, and he’s alone with his thoughts swirling round and round his head now.

he just sits there, counting the seconds, not focusing on anything except a dot on his ceiling, not thinking not thinking not thinking—

“robbe.”

noor is back in his doorway. her hair is a little wet around the edges like she’d splashed water on her face from the sink. she looks… not exactly angry, but not relaxed either. the tension of her mouth is somewhere between confusion and realization, something like pleading in her eyes, something less discernible in the furrow of her brow.

“noor, i’m—”

“stop talking.” she shuts him down, her voice commanding and yet still quiet. dignified. “i’m trying to think.”

she paces around his room, her arms suspended stiffly at her sides like she’s not quite sure how to hold herself. robbe desperately wants her to be still, to sit back down next to him, but he knows how damaging pent-up nervous energy can be, so he lets her circle round and round and round.

“i’ll start by saying i’m not happy that you cheated on me,” noor says without warning.

“that’s totally fair. i shouldn’t have done that.”

“and the _only _reason i’m not ripping your limbs out of their sockets right now is…” noor pauses, turning to look at him, and suddenly robbe recognizes that look in her eyes. desperation. _need._

“is?”

“britt,” noor breathes out the name like it’s a punch to her gut. robbe immediately knows. it’s exactly how he felt about jens, for the longest time. he just nods.

“i’m mad at you,” noor continues, voice shaking, “because you’ve known sander for like _two seconds_ and already got to make out with him, but i’ve known britt for years, _years_, and not _once_—”

she breaks off in a sob, hands flying to cover her face.

“noor.” robbe stands and goes to stand next to her, but doesn’t touch her. “it’s okay.”

she laughs, bitterly. “it’s really not. it sucks ass.”

robbe sighs. “i know.” _firsthand_. he runs a hand over his face. “does britt… i mean. have you ever, like, talked to her about stuff?”

“what, about being in love with her? fuck no.”

“no, just… about not being. you know. straight.”

noor shakes her head. “i’m pretty sure that britt doesn’t like girls anyway.”

“how do you know if you haven’t talked about it?”

noor lets her hands drop to her sides and throws her head back to look up at the ceiling. there are tears suspended in her eyelashes like crystals. _she really is beautiful. i was so stupid to hurt her like this._

“britt’s missing out,” he says aloud what he’s thinking.

noor gives him a hesitant, watery smile.

“i’m serious. you’d think she’d know that by now.”

“yeah, well. i doubt she feels the same way.”

“no, stop, listen.” robbe holds out a hand to noor. “pact.”

noor takes his hand bemusedly.

“i’m gonna talk to sander if you talk to britt. deal?”

noor smiles again, wider this time. “and no more secrets from now on.”

“no more secrets,” robbe agrees.

“okay. deal.”

they shake.

somewhere in his chest, robbe feels the waves tumble and break once more, though he’s no longer treading water with no end in sight, but rather swimming for the shore.

**Author's Note:**

> posted [here](https://navollidiot.tumblr.com/post/188992377106/une-immense-esp%C3%A9rance-a-travers%C3%A9-la-terre-wtfock) and [here](https://navollidiot.tumblr.com/post/188993905381/une-immense-esp%C3%A9rance-a-travers%C3%A9-ma-peur-wtfock) on tumblr


End file.
